Communicating with your child involves more than the words and phrases you use. What you are saying will be more effective if you: Communicating with your child involves more than the words and phrases you use. What you are saying will be more effective if you:

• Try to speak to your child in a pleasant tone of voice instead of an angry one.

   

• Speak in a light conversational tone instead of yelling. If you do end up yelling, apologize to your child.

   

• Take the time to really communicate with your child instead of rushing through a conversation.

   

• Devote your full attention to your child when she is talking to you, and try not to let your mind wander.

   

• Use facial expressions that correspond to the words you're speaking and the emotions you're feeling.

   

• Let your love and respect for your child guide your words and actions.

   

• Let the responsibility of being a parent be reflected in your willingness to take control when it's necessary.

   

• Smile more often than you frown.

About the authors: Vera Lane, Ph.D., is associate dean and Dorothy Molyneaux, Ph.D., is professor emerita at the San Francisco State University College of Education. They are specialists in child-language development and family communication.